Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
