i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
