The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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