He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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