can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
