the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
