I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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