I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
