I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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