Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
