Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
