I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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