guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
