dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
God I need to hump something, right now.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
