best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We need to rekindle our bromance
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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