Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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