Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
