My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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