I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
