I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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