I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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