Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
