Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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