Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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