what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
