so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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