I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
