Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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