I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
