I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
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