there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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