I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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