wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
