So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
