SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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