Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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