I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
