Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
