The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Less talking, more tequila
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
