what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
