That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
