And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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