So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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