Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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