Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
