i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
