your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
