every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
