Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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