i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
