How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
